By Jay Linden.

Consider one of the best relationships from your life. One where you felt at ease in being yourself, energized and joyful and it was as if you had known each other for years – as soon as you met. This relationship could be with a friend, partner, family member or even with someone you met only very briefly.

Now consider one of your worst relationships. One where you struggle and, far from feeling at ease, there is awkwardness and tension, a pattern of misunderstanding or power struggles. This could also be with a friend, your partner or family or a person you met only briefly, but perhaps took an instant or intense dislike to.

Would it surprise you to discover that both of these relationship experiences are most likely being influenced by your past life relationships with those souls?

We often feel like we have known and loved someone forever, even when we’ve only just met them, precisely because we have known them forever – we’ve played out different roles in various lives throughout time (as well as having a close and supportive relationship in Spirit!)

The power of past life relationships

I experienced being ambushed by a past life relationship a few years ago. The power and intensity of it took me completely by surprise.

I met someone by chance and had an engaging chat about art and thought nothing of it. I met this person a few weeks later at a book fair and again there was an immediate rapport. We arranged to spend a day together. In the first hour, we exchanged our life histories at top speed – as if we were bringing each other up to date. We each had a sense of knowing each other’s soul from the inside out.

I immediately said past lives. My friend, who isn’t on the same spiritual journey as me, was more ambivalent, but couldn’t deny the power of connection or the uncanny sense of total knowing – even though prior to this day we’d only had two short ten-minute conversations.

Whilst this new friendship had a joyful component the intensity of feeling disturbed me a bit. Then I was ambushed by relationship fantasies day and night and knew I had to do something about it.

There was a part of me living my normal life, happily partnered with my husband and doing my art. And there was another part of me that seemed out of my control – passionate, intense – and focused solely on a relationship with this person.

I was left standing on the sidelines, marveling, as this other part of me fantasized about both of us leaving our partners, finding a home together and how committed we would be to each other.

I did not say anything to my new friend as I felt that this was from a past life – and if I wanted a chance at a real friendship I’d have to do some past life regression therapy.

Life in a Harem

In the past life I went back to, I’d been born to a dirt-poor family in a small village, but I was very beautiful. Someone noticed me and I was chosen to be a consort to the Sultan. I happily left my family, filled with pride at the prospect of riches and my rise in status.

Marriage to the Sultan was a great disappointment. He did not like women. He had sex just the once with each woman he added to his harem. I had dreamed of a great love affair – in reality, the act was cold, clinical and he did not even look me in the eye. Being of a proud and tempestuous nature I was incensed and spat in his face.

As a result, I was whipped and sent to the harem. There I met the soul who was my friend in this life. She was gentle and kind – she soothed my humiliation with soft words as well as rubbing healing cream into the cuts on my back.

We became friends and lovers as did many of the girls in the harem. Life in a harem was claustrophobic and intense. It centred on pampering the body and the many shifting relationships amongst the women.

Essentially, I collapsed myself into this relationship. I lived only for the times we were together, apart from the others, and was horribly jealous if she paid any attention to anyone else. I wanted her all to myself.

This life ended when the Sultanate was attacked. She died in that attack and I died soon after.

Many lives – one pattern

Part of the clearing of past lives is not only to release the life explored, but also any similar lives. As this was done I became aware of other lives with this soul – also in harems – but those lives had ended differently.

We repeat lives in similar patterns when the soul is working its way through a particular life lesson or exploring a theme. Often, we explore multiple variations around a particular relationship dynamic – and in those, we tend to incarnate with the same soul and work through these lives together.

I’ll be your mother and you can be mine

I have a colleague with whom I’ve incarnated many times. In some of those lives, I have played her mother, in others, she has played mine. The patterns from life to life were very similar (even though the circumstance of place, power, and socioeconomic status were quite different.)

My pattern as mother was to see her as something very precious and yet to somehow neglect to listen to what she needed or wanted. In several lifetimes, I tried to make her marry someone she did not want to marry – with dire consequences for her.

Her pattern as mother was to love me, but be very weak or distant and completely unable to protect me from the powerful people around us.

Past life influences on this life – and how to heal them

The influence of these patterns from our past lives has played out in this life – affecting our friendship. Although we had an instant connection I found her to be frustratingly either elusive or in victim mode. Meantime I was far too interfering and controlling with a tendency to mother her.

Eventually, since both of us were healing our past lives, the dynamic shifted to something more balanced and at a higher level of awareness. But I think the main improvement came from both of us working on the very patterns and dynamics from those past lives.

My colleague is working on standing in her power, speaking her truth and being present in relationships. I am working on listening to others and stepping back, allowing them to have their own journey and not try and fix things for them – or think I know best.

The more we succeed in mastering these skills the clearer and more joyful our relationship becomes – and the effects from those past lives diminishes or is no longer an issue.

So how did the past life work impact the new friendship with the soul from the harem?

After the past life regression those past life soul fragments who were still trying to have a relationship with that soul were released. Thank heavens. No more fantasies or obsessive thoughts. I got my life and my mind back.

So if you have a challenging relationship with someone how can you heal it?

Sometimes you can’t – sometimes you do have to walk away. And sometimes it can help to heal any past-life relationships through regression therapy.

We’d love to hear about any relationships you feel are with people from past lives. Can you identify the lessons you are working through together? Leave a comment in below if you’d like to share your story.


 Jay Linden is the creator of Soul Purpose whose aim is to assist those wanting to do the inner work of healing and transformation. Sessions available:

Past Life Regression: a deep healing process that releases the stuck emotions, limiting beliefs and physical weakness you have brought through from previous lives – available via Skype.

Soul Purpose Astrology: an in depth written report that helps you to make sense of your life by revealing the past life themes your soul has been exploring and where your maximum soul growth lies in this lifetime. It highlights your core wound and place of vulnerability, the types of crisis you will face, as well as the talents and strengths you have to assist you on your journey.

Tarot for the Soul: Four different written readings in plain English offering a variety of soul healing and guidance.