Living Fearlessly

“Life expands or contracts in proportion to one’s courage” Anais Nin.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could put aside all our fears and pursue our dreams fearlessly? Imagine how much more you could achieve and experience if you had no fear at all to go after whatever you wanted.

If fear/love is a spectrum, it’s certainly more helpful to be more towards the ‘love’ end of the spectrum than the ‘fear’ end. But most of us consider fear to be a natural, in-built human response which drives our most basic actions. And we’d probably feel some resistance to eliminating our fear altogether, as the accepted idea is that fear serves us in some cases – that it’s ‘better to be safe than sorry’.

But from a spiritual perspective, fear is:

False

Evidence

Appearing

Real

(that’s Neale Donald Walsch‘s clever acronym, not mine!)

Spiritually, fear is rarely grounded in truth. Rather, it is an illusion; the domain of the ego and a conditioned response. As babies, fresh from the spiritual realm, we are less steeped in fear. And as we grow, we learn fear and absorb it from our environments. We are told not to touch that, not to do that, not to talk to strangers. We indirectly learn to fear the consequences of everything we do. Then, as we get older and understand the world and pay attention to the media, to our fears we can add the fear of death, destruction, evil, and disasters.

Some people buy into their fears to such an extent that they get to the point where they’re unable to move forwards in life or are paralyzed by their fear. One major fear that keeps people stuck (and I personally see a lot of it in my sessions) is the very understandable fear of the unknown and a fear of the future – or rather, a fear of bad things happening in the future.

At the end of a session with me, people get to ask questions of their Spirit Guides or Higher self and they often ask things like ‘I want to leave my spouse, but if I do, will I ever find someone else?’ or ‘If I quit my job and start my new business, will I be able to pay the bills?’

I’m sure we’ve all asked questions like those before (I know I have!), as we’re all conditioned to fear lack, pain, struggle and being alone.

It’s interesting to hear the Guides’ answers to such questions. Usually, rather than giving predictions to reassure people, the Guides tend to deconstruct people’s fear. I’m going to share some of what I’ve learned from the Guides’ spiritual perspectives about our human fears.

Deconstructing Fear

The most important information from the Guides is that in spite of what we’ve learned, our fears are never beneficial – they are out of resonance with who we are as spiritual beings. When we’re living 100% in alignment with our spirit, we have no fear. We are like intrepid children. The soul does not even fear death because it knows, on a deep level, that we can never be harmed or hurt in any way. The soul knows that your consciousness – the energy that is you – can never be destroyed. Of course, we know the physical body can be damaged and die, but on a soul level, the impermanence of our physical being is something we embrace. Our souls choose to come into this world because we have a hunger for growth, for experience, for expansion, not because we want to avoid death, or discomfort or pain.

Taking the sting out of ‘negative’ experiences

The second reason why living in fear makes little sense from a spiritual perspective is because we are always in control of every experience which comes our way. Before you even incarnate, you choose the family you will incarnate into. When you’re here in a body, the principal mechanism by which you choose all your experiences is the Law of Attraction, although some major experiences you may have chosen for yourself long before you incarnated.

And because you are a being of love, you, in your wisdom, always choose for yourself the most loving experiences possible. You may be thinking – hang on a moment, I didn’t send myself the bankruptcy or my illness. But sending yourself loving experiences does not mean that you always send yourself the most enjoyable, pleasant experiences. It does mean that you send yourself exactly the right experiences needed in order to grow, expand and learn what you need to. We choose all our experiences with a deep knowing of our own inner strength and the power of our spirit. We have no doubt about our capability to draw something good and learn something, even when the going gets really tough.

A recent example of this which I came across in my own life was at a recent workshop when I heard a very moving and inspiring story from a lady who had breast cancer. She told the group that she felt that she was meant to have cancer and that it changed her life for the better. After her illness, as she realized that life was fleeting and precious, she quit her ‘boring’ job (her words) and began training as a nurse, which she had always wanted to do. She also volunteered to act as a help and mentor to other women with cancer. Her marriage was stronger because of the experience and she had a renewed lust for life. She said that if she could choose again, she would choose the cancer because it shook her out of an existence that she wasn’t particularly enjoying or valuing.

So, the belief that you are selecting your own experiences and trusting in your own judgement as a soul is one way to overcome your fear of ‘bad’ stuff happening in the future, as you know you will never send yourself experiences that you cannot handle.

It can help to eliminate fear even further if you can let go of your attachment that you should only choose ‘good’ experiences, and meet all experiences with the same attitude. This involves regarding anything that happens to you as a blessing, even if others label it as ‘bad’. (As an aside, Byron Katie’s method of inquiry ‘the work’ is perhaps the most effective way of letting go of attachment in this respect. Check out her website www.thework.com for more on this.) Byron Katie is an amazing teacher of non-attachment – I read in her book ‘A Thousand Names for Joy‘ that even when she was robbed at gunpoint and was in danger of dying, she felt no fear, only fascination that she had manifested such an experience for herself. (I would love to be fearless to such a degree!)

However, this idea that all experiences, including the so-called ‘bad’ ones, are always blessings, is usually met with a lot of resistance and controversy as many people are understandably attached to the fact that X, Y, or Z should not have befallen them.

If you can get past that, try examining your past and the experiences, including the seemingly negative ones, which you have chosen thus far. You might like to think about why you would have chosen to experience what you have, even if it was painful. It can be beneficial to understand your ‘negative’ experiences even until you can safely say that you would not fear those experiences if they came around again.

As things occur in your life, try getting into the habit of thinking ‘what can I learn from this?’ and ‘why have chosen this experience?’ and remember that you are the creator of your life, rather than slipping into the idea that you are at the whim and mercy of a God or a Universe which will send you misfortunes at random.

Take more risks

Another practical way to reconcile these spiritual ideas with your life and live fearlessly is by practicing taking risks. You do not need to begin with life-changing risks. If you’re someone who likes to remain within your comfort zone, take some small risks – even little things such as trying things which you’re not sure you will like or reach out to someone even if you doubt that your friendliness will be reciprocated. Taking risks, big or small, allows you to get a taste for how supported you are by the Universe in the outcomes you experience. It also enables you to learn non-attachment to the positive feelings/outcomes and the negative feelings/outcomes that may result from the risks you take.

This year I have done quite a lot of risk-taking. One risk that I took was in February – I quit my teaching job in Spain to move to the UK to set up my full-time healing business. When I quit my job, I left with little money, no website, no knowledge of how to create a website, a tiny client base and no knowledge or experience in business. I had no steady work coming in and a need to make an income right away. The people around me thought I was crazy and I myself expected that I would probably have to get another job – maybe one which I disliked even more than the job I’d just quit.

But, shortly after leaving my job, I created this website, with the help of a friend and I acquired a business mentor, who helped me in so many ways. Everywhere I went I met people I could help or people who referred clients to me. And my business began to expand. Even when my computer broke when I was in the middle of setting up my online business, I manifested a new one very quickly!

Taking that risk, although it was not exactly a life and death situation, made me more willing to take risks in the future and less fearful about my security and that to me is quite valuable. I think that my life has indeed expanded in proportion to the courage I developed, as new avenues have opened up, which I would never have dared take before.

For me, the key to taking that risk was that I disliked my situation so much that even quitting my job and failing in my business seemed preferable to staying where I was.

What the Guides say…

So, the spiritual answer to whether we should take a risk and quit our job or do whatever else we want to do (that is in our highest path and purpose) is this:

We are literally in control of all our experiences, so we do not need to ask a psychic to predict an outcome about our own lives. The real question is not ‘will this happen?’ but rather ‘what will I choose?’ And even if we do not get exactly what we consciously wished for, we can be sure that we have chosen something even better for ourselves, no matter what ‘packaging’ the experience comes in.

Have you taken any risks lately, in life or in business – and do you think they served you? Or have you learned to overcome your fears? Please leave a comment below!

 

Meet Anna

Hi, I’m Anna Sayce! My purpose here on this website is to provide practical techniques and information to help empaths to understand, and fix the root of their energetic overwhelm & also to help sensitives to embrace and develop their intuitive gifts. I believe that developing our spiritual & intuitive side is very powerful and allows us to improve our own lives, and if we wish, even make the world a better place for others. Discover more >

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11 Comments

  1. Avatar

    This blog post came at a good time for me – I’m about to make a decision about my education that a lot of people would discourage, and I’m feeling rather fearful, as I’m about to propose it to my mother tomorrow. (Whom I know is not going to like it. Not one bit.)

    It’s very reassuring to remember I have total control and responsibility – even if there are times when I shy away from that and prefer to wallow as a victim instead.

    Tomorrow, I’m going to propose unschooling to my mother. I’m terrified, because if I succeed, it means I’ll leave the safety of school forever, even if it feels like school’s been killing me in a way. It means I’ll have far more control and responsibility for my life – while at school, it’s very easy to hide from that. And I’m scared of taking that control. I’m scared of stuffing things up.

    Frankly, I’m amazed that I’m still considering doing it. There are times when I’ve wanted to just forget about it and hide somewhere and keep going to school, but I know that’s not the right way for me. But so far, I’m still sticking to this, and I’m amazed at that. I’m confident that tomorrow, I won’t back down.

    Thank you for this post. I’m going to bookmark it – I really needed to hear this.

    Zora

  2. Avatar

    Anna,

    Great post as usual. When I wrote about the Law of Attraction recently on my blog, some commented that they believe it but something is not working, that they are getting negative results. Now the standard response to this is to point out that they are focusing on NOT attracting what they want, and this may be true. However, my feeling was that they are getting exactly what they need, even though the situation may appear bad.

    Our judgment of what is good or bad is so limiting. Like you mentioned in your post, getting sick may be the blessing. And indeed it is.

    The only things that is on my mind now — what do you think when we ignore our intuition and make a choice, which proves to lead to “negative” situation? In this case, we — our ego — is overriding the spiritual guidance. Do you think it is still part of the soul’s big plan?

    To Zora,
    I left college halfway, which was a very unusual thing to do in my home country. But it saved my life, or at least my sanity.

    Akemi

  3. Avatar

    I too left university before the end of my course, that took a lot of courage, mainly to face up to my dad, who really didn’t like it! I felt stifled by uni, the course was full of meaningless padding to fill 3 years with 3 months of work, and it wasn’t for me. Do I regret it? Not one bit. But my advice to one considering the leap is: be absolutely sure of what you want, and once you know for sure, don’t let others get in your way, even if it is painful at the time.

    Actually, I’m in the process of doing something similar at the moment, I am leaving the job I dislike (sound familiar?) to go travelling. But from the perspective of leaving, I can see that this job was just what I needed at the time. Life just works like that I guess!

  4. Anna

    Hi Zora – I am glad this post was useful to you! It sounds like you’re aligning with truth, love and power (I’m reading Steve Pavlina’s book at the mo!).

    Hi Akemi – thank you!

    In answer to your question, I feel that even when we make a choice that is not what we consciously want, it is still part of the soul’s plan. Choosing what we don’t want, helps us to see what we do want and propels us towards that in a stronger way. I really feel we need to experience the opposites – the positive and the negative in order to know what the positive choice really represents.

    Hi Paul – I agree – every job I have had, even the ones I’ve hated, have been just what I needed at that time in that, often my last job sets me up for something that is better.

  5. Avatar

    Anna –

    I just got it in the mail, funny you should mentiont hat. 😉

    Akemi – I also feel like I’m saving my sanity. I’ve been going part time for more than half a year now, but it’s still not enough to make me feel good about what’s happening. And like Paul, even though I’m not in university, it feels exactly like meaningless padding. I’m not learning at all at school, and I have no drive to. But when I think of what I can learn on my own, I get really motivated…

    My mother has said yes to unschooling! And my father seems to be on the fence (hasn’t said yes or no yet). I’m nervous, admittedly, but I can’t wait to get started. Just a few weeks to go! 🙂

    Zora

  6. Anna

    Good for you, Zora 😀

  7. Avatar

    Hello Anna,

    Your blog posts are certainly eye-opening and good to read. I have an important question though. If we, in spiritual form, send experiences which we’re certain we can handle in our physical incarnations, then why do people commit suicide? How do negative spirits (demons?) factor into all this? Do our spirits willingly accept that we, as human beings, shall remember nothing of the spiritual world while incarnated? Do we go through the tumult of living multiple lives to get enough experience to merit entry into the “Heaven” of the spiritual realm? Enlightenment can only be attained on this Earth.

    I’m picturing the spiritual realm as a video game bureaucracy filled with souls worrying about their life “experience points” and wondering how much more training on Earth they’ll have to do before they can enter into Heaven and transcend. I view Earth as a sort of Purgatory in that sense.

  8. Avatar

    Hi Ace, there are quite a few issues raised here, some of which merit a blog post of their own, but I’ll try and answer what I can now.

    Hmm, so regarding suicide – souls commit suicide when their vibration is so low that they can’t see a way back up in the physical. They do it in the hope that that will solve their situation BUT then they find it’s just as challenging to raise their vibration in the non-physical and added to that, they have to start from scratch again in a new incarnation.

    However, it’s not that they couldn’t handle that experience or the circumstances which caused their suicide – it’s more that they doubted they could, lose a connection to who they really are and out of lack of consciousness, perceive a ‘way out’.

    They can and they do handle such experiences later on, because they go back and do them once again in their next incarnation anyway and break out of the pattern of running away via suicide. The suicide is all part of the handling process, I guess. It’s not ‘game over’.

    In response to this: ‘Do our spirits willingly accept that we, as human beings, shall remember nothing of the spiritual world while incarnated?’

    We are meant to keep a connection to our spirit. It’s just that we haven’t so much in recent generations because our Western culture has been out of alignment with the spiritual. Life IS about having a balance between the physical and the spiritual aspects. If you look at many native cultures, like the native North Americans, they have a culture and a long history of connection to Spirit and that’s how we thrive when we’re incarnated here.

    And life is not about learning to become really good at living, so we can get into Heaven and be ‘enlightened’. (You can only be enlightened in the moment, anyway.) Our task here on Earth is: to be the spiritual beings that we are, while incarnated IN THE PHYSICAL. Abraham-Hicks says it’s about being in alignment with the expanded, great spirit that you’ve become over many many lifetimes and attracting life circumstances which align with your own spiritual greatness.

  9. Avatar

    The fear meaning that you attributed to Neale probably came to him through a 12-Step program. It has been around since way before he became famous. I learned it over 10 years ago in Al-Anon. I just subscribed to your blog. I like your articles.

  10. Avatar

    Hi Patricia,

    Thanks for your comments!

    I didn’t know that about the Fear acronym – interesting!

  11. Avatar

    By far one of the bests posts, Anna. It shed a lot of light. Masters say to not take on jobs or any other circumstances that are beneath us just to have them for fear that we won’t find anything else or, in the case of a crappy job, just to make money. They say this with very good reason. It all makes sense.

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