Life Is Not Such A Bitch After All

Several weeks ago, I recorded a podcast with intuitive counsellor Alex Wu.

It was a podcast about careers and life purpose.  In that podcast, while Alex and I were talking, I surprised myself with a realization.  (Maybe this realization had been percolating for a while, or maybe it had been popped in there from somewhere else a while back without me realizing.)

It was this: what you see as your biggest weaknesses are nine times out of ten pointers to your strengths – things that other people value in you, and that you might even build a career around. (If this sounds like crazy talk, go and listen to the podcast to see what I mean – it’s 18 mins into it.)

This was such a revolutionary realization for me to have at the time.

Why?

The fact is, our society (Western? mainstream? Consumerist?) tells us that we are not enough.

Comparing ourselves to others is rife.  We do that because we are taught to.  So that we will buy the anti-wrinkle cream, or the weight loss drinks or the facelift, or the fancy car.

We are automatically trained to see our failings, so that we will go out and buy something that will make us feel better.  Some marketers try to highlight our failings and appeal to our needs and desires to be better, to feel better.

We are taught that we do not have enough.  We aren’t enough.  We can’t get enough.

We must strive harder.

We must set goals, seek abundance and a meaningful relationship.  We must know what our dreams are, we must try to achieve them.  Life needs to be ‘sorted’ on the outside.

This belief has been exacerbated by New-Age abundance teachings. This belief that came from the Law of attraction teachings via Abraham Hicks (“everything you want is in your escrow”) and ‘the Secret’ (“If you can dream it, you can achieve it”). Although visualization can be a powerful tool, it is ludicrous to think that everyone can think and visualize themselves out of poverty and misfortune. If you have lost someone or something dear to you, it’s natural that life is going to be crappy for a while. Or if you live in the third world, that’s not going to apply to you. It’s so abundantly clear to me that not everyone is on the same path through life. To say that we can all feel good, all the time is one of the biggest delusions of some of the New-Age teachings I used to ascribe to.

Life doesn’t owe us what we want. Evidently the only thing we are owed is what we get (whether we create that ourselves or whether life throws it at us).

Sometimes we have no idea what is coming to us (what is ‘in our escrow’.)  Everyone’s path is different.  Our birthright is not unlimited riches, a loving relationship that lasts a lifetime, perfect health and beauty.  It may be, but everyone has a different path.

Our birthright is the experiences and learnings we get from what we go through – both fantastic and disastrous.

My personal journey is definitely not one of being sorted on the outside, materially – as much as I’ve struggled for it to be. Outside circumstances that life sent me governed what happened for the large part.

Over the last seven years, I have suffered through believing that life should be better. That life is usually good, if we try hard. I thought, I need to sort my life out and get a better one – more income, a loving partner, clearer skin; a stable home and family, more friends in this country, more hobbies.  I bought countless self-help courses and books that helped me to do these things. I learned lots of interesting ideas but I don’t know if I got any further towards what I wanted.

This week that belief that life should be better broke down. Quietly. Not in a “I’ve been working on this belief and I managed to eliminate it” kind of way, or in a blazing a-ha experience, but just in a moment of quiet grace that I didn’t notice until later, when I stopped struggling so hard.

Let me tell you a bit about how hard I struggled with this belief. Hopefully it isn’t too boring, I aim for there to be an interesting lesson at the end.

My Story

I always believed that I was wronged by life in a number of ways, as ridiculous and self-pitying as it sounds.

When I was 19, five of my closest family members felt the need to leave the UK, my country of origin and emigrate to New Zealand (there is a whole story in the reason why that I won’t go into here.) All members of my family were eligible for residency except me because of a joint condition I had when I was little.  I needed to be checked out in a London hospital and because my mother was turning 45 (and would soon no longer be eligible for residency either), there was not enough time for this to happen. They needed to make a choice about going or staying.  They went, and left me behind.  I was 19, at university at the time and not much thought was put into the consequences of not being allowed to live in the same country as my family anymore. We thought I would find a way to emigrate there too, later on. And in the meantime, tough cookie.

I soon realized what the consequences were.  Homesickness, even while I was in the country I was born in. I fell apart at university and there are friends I haven’t thanked enough for being there for me at that time.

In the year after they left, big changes happened in my family, relationships broke down, and I was away.  Financial resources were not available and I went for long periods away from my family.  I became estranged from beloved family members temporarily.  Bad things happened.  Grief and distance set in.

I spent several years wandering in an aimless way, trying to find home, believing it was far away from my family who had caused me pain, the bastards.  I looked for someone to create a home with and desperately picked some – any – thoroughly unsuitable types to try to build a home with (obviously not all at once).  Relationships broke down. Again. And again.

Later on, I realized where home was, that last horrible time I ran away to another country to get away from family.

It was in New Zealand.

But after all this time, I still wasn’t eligible to stay here long term.

I wasn’t eligible to get residency through my family (it’s complicated – I have one sibling back in the UK who will not settle here, and you need all family members in New Zealand to qualify for residency.)

I wasn’t eligible through my work (I’m self-employed and running a spiritual website is not a skill shortage.)

I wasn’t even eligible if I dropped full-time self-employment and trained as an English teacher to foreigners (which I did – it’s my secondary career, after this website.)  I thought I was eligible, but experience has taught me that it’s totally unrealistic in that industry, to get the kind of contract and work conditions I will need for my residency.

Then, it seemed the only option left is to train as a secondary school teacher.  One year’s training, a huge amount of money.

Only now it seems that to train as a secondary school teacher, I need two subjects to teach in a high school and I only studied one at University – international languages (French and Spanish). So either I go back to university for another four years, or I forget the whole thing.

Why I am recounting this long story of what I need to do in my life to get to where I want to be?

Why should you care – after all, tons of people have been through much, much worse.

The Point…

But what made me suffer was the following thought:

Why was life making it so hard for me to have what I wanted, after all the grief this had caused me in my early twenties?  Why were some people I know thriving, emotionally, financially, settling in one place, while I was being challenged financially, emotionally, from all the moving, the drained finances, the lack of momentum, the unsettledness, the qualifications I needed to get, the visas, the medicals, the frustration of feeling thwarted at every turn?

It was so unfair.  Life was a bitch.

Yes, this is self-centred, egoic ranting.  Of course, my life is not bad.  There are probably millions of people in this world who would swap places with me in a second.

The fact is, life owes me nothing.

Life owes me nothing that I want.

Isn’t this so hard to swallow?

What You Need

Sometimes what I want right now is evidently not what life thinks I need to experience.

I believe this goes for all of us. Often in healing sessions I get told about the treasures and gifts that come from the client walking their unique path – the one they’re desperately trying to fix or change and have been for a while.  The healing that comes from this can be incredible.

The thing that makes us think that we are owed something, or that we need to change something, is when we look at what others have. We use it as a benchmark for what we should have, then we feel cheated when we don’t have it.

Our society needs us to feel cheated, and to want, to feel like we’re underachieving, because it’s good for selling stuff.

Consider this:

Maybe for now your path is not to be settled (like me).

Maybe for now your business isn’t going to make six figures in its first two years, or in five years, like other people you know.

Maybe for now your path is not to be slim (or film-star beautiful.)

Maybe you will struggle to get residency in a country for years (even when you’re well qualified in a profession and a good citizen) while someone else who has a criminal record gets in straight away.

Maybe for now your path is not to have perfect health.

I don’t have that, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get it either. Does that make me a new-age under-achiever?

I am not saying we should set the bar low in life.  I’m not saying we should never strive for what we truly want.

But I am saying that sometimes we struggle so hard, and are so attached to the idea that life owes us something, that we do not see or discover what we have been given.

In my moment of quiet acceptance, I realized the abundance that had been given to me in the events of the last several years.  My soul had given me what I needed, not what I wanted.

In not getting residency straight away, I was forced to stop working as a full-time psychic and teach languages.  At first, this pissed me off.

Then I started teaching English to foreigners and I fell in love with that career all over again. It made life richer. I loved the foreign students I taught.  I got to travel every day to other cultures through them, without leaving this country.  I heard stories, I met wonderful people; my mind was opened.  Especially after spending two years in front of a computer screen, building this website.  I loved the personal contact, I was revitalized and refreshed.  It was such a gift I was given that I would never have chosen for myself otherwise.

Another benefit of my family leaving when I was 19, was that I went wandering like a gypsy and lived a great deal.  I have many stories to tell and lots of things to write about here.  I spent a lot of time abroad and working out the world, by making mistakes.  I had a lot of relationships.  I learned a lot about people and about other ways of living.  I learned how to rely on myself.

The Realization

At the heart of many healing traditions is seeing the good.  At the heart of many spiritual paths is accepting where we are and the limitations of what life sends us. Then moving through it.  When we accept the path we’re on, instead of trying to change it all the time, we begin to see the treasures that our souls send us through our experiences and that has transformative power.

That is true abundance.  Seeing the good.

Even in the midst of what looks like a disaster.

Then maybe change can happen, following acceptance.  Or maybe it won’t.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned through talking with souls in readings, it’s that no two souls are walking the same path.  Life only seems like a bitch when you think you should be walking another path.

I may have over-shared in this article.  Revealing my path in such a personal way is the only way I have of sharing this lesson and I didn’t do it lightly.  I don’t claim to have fully learned it, even.  So please be kind in the comments, even if you disagree. Tell me about your experiences with this. I would love to hear them.

 

Meet Anna

Hi, I’m Anna Sayce! My purpose here on this website is to provide practical techniques and information to help empaths to understand, and fix the root of their energetic overwhelm & also to help sensitives to embrace and develop their intuitive gifts. I believe that developing our spiritual & intuitive side is very powerful and allows us to improve our own lives, and if we wish, even make the world a better place for others. Discover more >

Explore my Blog Categories

Developing

Your Intuition

Managing

Your Sensitivity

Using Your

Gifts To Help Others

27 Comments

  1. Avatar

    This is really interesting and while I haven’t struggled with this myself (the idea that life is a bitch), I do struggle with pushing myself more, or trying to fix myself because I (at the moment) believe that life presents me with all I am ready for and need, to learn more in order to progress. So maybe it’s time to relax and just keep taking the next step! In a reading I got with another psychic, the phrase ‘in for the long haul’ was what really jolted me out of desiring more, and into planning and working on my career. For me, it is defo the long haul, as I think I’ll need at least ten more years of training to really make a positive contribution to my future field. But, I’m really excited about that!

  2. Avatar

    This article arrived at a perfect time, of course. At first when I started reading it, I did start to disagree when I got to the line,

    “This belief has been exacerbated by New-Age abundance teachings.”

    Oh no, I thought. Here we go… But the good news is that I read the entire thing and it absolutely made me understand some of what I am experiencing now in my own life. The resistance, trying to swim against the flow.

    When I got to the last paragraph and read your statement about “oversharing” I thought you were being a little tough on yourself 🙂

    As hard as it is to swallow, your comments about New Age Abundance teachings are accurate (as much as I didn’t want them to be). There is so much build-up of “feel good” and “smile in spite of” and sometimes I just want to say, YEAH RIGHT!

    Acceptance of “what is” is a huge key and I am so glad that you have reminded me of this.

    There were multitudes of circumstances in my life that brought me where I am today, none too pretty, but they have shaped my experience. From now on, I have decided to see the gift in each one instead of fighting so hard for what I THINK I want.

    Thanks, Anna. Keep up the great work. I learn a lot from you when you overshare. 🙂

  3. Avatar

    Thank you once again for your willingness to bare your soul to those of us seeking to find our own paths. Your honesty is breath-taking and refreshing, while I’m sure it leaves you feeling unbelievably vulnerable.

    I really like your assessment of the process through which we all travel. While it’s a given that we’re all walking through life, that’s where many of the similarities stop. I too think it’s crucial to appreciate where we currently find ourselves and to stop finding ourselves, and our situations, lacking by comparing ourselves to others. Certainly we can learn from what others have done, but ultimately we have to filter that learning into our own lives – and the conclusions tend to be more unique than we’d like.

    It seems to me that we must strike a balance between feeling alone as we walk our unique paths by ourselves and feeling inferior as we compare ourselves to those who walk by our sides. Acceptance must be the key – that and knowing that’s its truly about the experience, not the outcome! So many things to come to understand – and re-member.

    Thank you again for being so willing to shine the light on your process! Kudos to you!! I for one am honored to be walking in the same general direction as you! I appreciate your contribution and applaud your conclusions.

  4. Avatar

    So true. Perception… I brought my daughter up as a Independent parent, I was lucky the Government supported me, but money was tight. I was down in the dumbs wondering how to pay bills etc, until my daughter who was 6 said ‘mum we arent poor look at what we have’ We had a roof over our heads, food on the table and lots and lots of love She was right we were not poor. I had just looked at my sister who seemed to have everything and as you say wanted ‘her path’ I accepted where we were and change did happen.
    Thank you for your honest blogs, to show yourself and be vunerable is a true strength

  5. Avatar

    I always love the things you write about, Anna! It’s so great!

    Yes I myself often wondered about the things you write about in this blog. In fact it bugged me so much I wrote letters to tons of friends and acquaintances trying to “figure it out” (including Andrea Hess, poor thing, what she had to suffer from me! because of her money manifesting course and how it seems to make it appear so easy to manifest money, I wrote to her and said that was all well and great if you live in the US where even the poorest people are rich and have mobile phones and TV’s, but what about people in poor countries?) I wrote to my friends and said, try telling all this New-Age garbage to someone who just lost their home and all their family in Haiti, and tell them that THEY made this happen, that THEY attracted this! Why would thousands of people in Haiti want to attract an earthquake killing their families? What would’ve happened if you were trying to improve your life and you lived in Haiti and you were trying to put The Secret in practice, and then Boom! you’re hit with an earthquake! I asked my friends, how can you tell a woman in Afghanistan that everything in her life was created by HER? How could she possibly have been responsible for creating the Taliban, for example?

    And no one had a convincing reply for me. These are all people who are well acquainted with the Law of Attraction, The Secret and other New Age philosophies. But no one could explain why people in Haiti would want to attract an earthquake, how people in a poor country could attract a six-figure bank account or how come a woman in Afghanistan would want to create Talibans in her reality.

    You’re right, these New Age ideas, you can clearly see they were conjectured up in a free and prosperous society, where anyone can achieve the American Dream (or European Dream, or whatever), anyone can go from rags to riches, people can do what they want and travel where they want, whenever they want. I’m not trying to criticize the American Dream of course, I also live in Western society and I was born and raised here too. But I can clearly see that not everyone receives equal opportunities in the world.

    So, your article is the best (and only convincing) answer I’ve ever read on this subject. And so brave to be proposing it, most “New-Agey” types, when you start to question these things, they try to hush you up, or tell you you didn’t understand the LOA right.

    Sorry to be hogging up your comments section with such a long post. I’ll shut up now!

  6. Avatar

    Sorry to butt in again, I didn’t quite get that right. There actually was indeed a really lovely, wonderful friend who did have a neat reply for me. She said that life is like a computer game. You can choose to play on the easiest level, where you have a wealth of abundance and resources and no enemies, or you can play on the toughest level where you’re born into abject poverty, the enemies surround you and people are trying to kill you almost as soon as you are born, or you can choose any level in between. This wasn’t just theory, her partner actually has such a computer game and he has quite the time of it playing away, he’s wild about it. Before each game (= lifetime on earth) he gets to choose which level he wants to play at. So we choose (ie. try to choose and hope we didn’t mess it up!) the level we most need to play at for our evolution. When her partner has played some easy games for a while he gets bored and wants something more difficult so he can have a challenge, and have some fun. And when he’s tied himself up in knots and is all stressed out from too many toughies he’ll take an easy one for the next few rounds, so he can lighten up and just enjoy playing for a while.

    So I guess that’s life.

  7. Avatar

    When I read self help books Anna my energy always lifts when I read people’s personal stories because thats the common bond we share. So love your posts about your own life.
    Great article.
    Theres a fine line between having a sense of entitlement, focusing on what we want to create and attract, and avoiding how we really feel.
    Early last year when my relationship broke up, the very next day that he told me that he was leaving an old friend messaged me to tell me he had won lotto. 1 million smackaroos.
    It was such a godsend at the time as I was starting a new path of self employment and his money was something I struggled over because that part of me that felt entitled loved it, as he supported me to get on my feet for a wee while.
    In the months after it really messed me up because I wanted life to be that easy, to not have to wonder how I was going to put food on the table. I was out of the starters blocks before I was ready. No crying in my soup.
    But I have achieved so much in my struggle and have found strengths that I never knew I had, and talents I never knew I had. I had no time to wonder if I was feeling up to something, I just had to do it. Which pisses me off sometimes cause I would love to have even a day where I dont worry about how I am going to survive financially. 7 day working weeks, week in and week out.
    But Im proud of myself, Im doing what I love and even though its been hard, and doubly hard now we have earthquakes, I realise that my struggle between a feeling of entitlement and putting one foot in front of the other in the face of the unknown has been wonderful. Everyone around me seems to be in a part of their life that Im not in, theyre taking holidays and having their choice of take outs and material possessions but I know I will get there. At times I cry about it but thats just releasing that part of me that feels entitled, and then Im more balanced knowing that Im not Princess Perfecta sitting there thinking everything about my life has to go my way all the time.

  8. Avatar

    Anna. I absolutely loved this article, and thank you for your honesty. I truly admire how authentic you are in your posts, I find it very inspirational.

    I completely agree with you on all counts. When I look back over my life, I have had some really tough times, but these have all been instrumental in leading me to where I am now, which, on the whole, is a very happy place. If it wasn’t for my worst experience, having ME because of work-related stress, I wouldn’t have challenged my entire outlook on life, quit my well-paid job and travelled the world, never to go back to being a slave of the corporate rat race. I wouldn’t have seen the qualities in the man I went on to to marry (as he didn’t fit my previous beliefs regarding wwhat the ‘ideal man’ for me would be). Lesson for me: without the crappy times, there is no learning.

    I also agree about the new-age ideas, visualisation etc. As a psychologist and coach, I was taught to use goal setting with clients and to help them achieve their ‘dreams’, along with use of visualisation techniques. I don’t tend to use them, however, because I believe that if we spend all our time thinking about the future and what we want to happen, we aren’t living in the moment. In fact, we aren’t really living, we are just waiting to be happy / thin/ rich or whatever it is, and we are likely to miss the magical things that are happening in the present, as well as feel frustrated if we don’t get what we want.

    Over the years, what I have come to realise and believe, is that I help people most when I enable them to accept themselves as they are, right now. I believe peace and happiness comes from accepting yourself no matter what. From truly believing that you are just as worthy of love and happiness as anyone else irrespective of whether you are overweight, don’t have much money, aren’t very confident, don’t have great skin, or whatever is it, you are ok just as you are. I also think that is why so many self-help techniques don’t work, because they send the message people should change.

    Great post Anna. So glad I found your site.

  9. Avatar

    Haha, I think im ready for a few easy rounds.

  10. Avatar

    Ah, yes, the best self-help book would be the one that says “you’re perfectly fucking okay just the way you are”. Believing everything can be roses all the time is just wishful hoping. It’s when you’re able to be okay with not being okay that things start happening.

    Charlotte,

    “I believe peace and happiness comes from accepting yourself no matter what.”

    You and me too! It all starts with self-love – the hardest kind.

  11. Avatar

    A heartfelt post, and interesting.

    By the standards of most ancient religions, including and perhaps especially shamanism, it would be commonly realized that a psychic sensitive will be manipulated due to their ability to potentially see into Underlying Reality and mediate with the Spirits.

    It is only if you discard this common metaphysical view of there being something akin to a War In Heaven on Earth, with souls as food for the Spirits, that you can arrive at the notion all of this is what the Soul must truly intend. Such must be the hope, because acceptance is currently the only option in a materialistic society. What seems like Fate may apply especially to those who may see beyond the veil.

    In more spiritual times, when those with Spiritual Sight are more welcome as co-rulers, advisors, priests, and prophets, it is usually more common to see that there are forces at work whose intention is not benign. In those times it would probably be more widely recognized that there may be more to an Intuitive’s misfortune than meets the eye.

  12. Anna

    Seramadis – I enjoyed hearing about your friend’s computer game metaphor. That is probably the best one I’ve heard too…

  13. Anna

    Hi Charlotte – thank you! I am glad you enjoy the articles. Great insights in your comment. Especially the bit about self-help, although it can be uplifting to some extent, can also send out the message of things need to change or ‘you’re not OK as you are’, which creates resistance.

  14. Anna

    David – lol. Well if there was a self-help book like that, I’m not sure anyone would buy it, because ‘you’re OK as you are’ is not quite as compelling as ‘you can have, do or be anything you want’ – just pick it out of a catalogue 🙂

  15. Avatar

    Anna,

    Haha, you’re right, because people are stupid – they just don’t know what it is that they really want! 😉

  16. Anna

    Hi Amy,

    That is a nice message to get – often we don’t realize that we are on a path for the long haul and don’t see that far ahead, and so we try to create or change everything so quickly, when it’s more about pacing ourselves and enjoying the ride.

  17. Anna

    Thanks Kate, although your life lately hasn’t been a walk in the park, that is great that you’ve discovered strengths that you never knew you had.

  18. Anna

    Hi Sue – Thank you for your lovely comment. Yes, it does leave me feeling a bit vulnerable. But honesty is good too.

  19. Anna

    Hi Theresa – that must have been such a lovely thing to hear a 6 year old child say. Especially because I remember when I was growing up so many of the kids I knew were materialistic and obsessed by the latest toys etc as funny as that sounds, we were too I think.

  20. Anna

    Hi Joi – thank you. Glad you learned something from my oversharing and weren’t put off by what I said about the New Age abundance teachings like Abraham Hicks, etc.

    Even if I don’t personally find their teachings helpful anymore, I know they do help people.

  21. Avatar

    Thank you for sharing this, Anna.

  22. Avatar

    Anna, I love how you always, always put yourself out there and you’re my role model for doing that on my blog. (I’m not quite as fearless as you are but I’ll get there!)

    As for “New Age-y” teachings and such – you have to find what resonates with you. Not everything in the metaphysical world appeals to me or resonates with me and so I take it to mean there’s no lesson for me there. You really are very level-headed about all of it. I like that.

    And Charlotte – you do ask a good question about how these ideas would fly for someone in the middle of losing their house or a life lived on the streets.

    You wondered how could you tell someone that they “asked” for this? My thought on that (and it’s just my feeling – not THE ANSWER for everyone) is that on a soul level, they DID choose those circumstances to learn specific lessons. Key words there: on a soul level. And I think that’s something hard for many people to wrap their head around. It makes no logical sense. Soul work isn’t set up to look logical to us.

    (I’d say more but I have my own space to write about this which I actually planned to do in the near future. Thanks for helping me clarify that, Charlotte!)

  23. Anna

    Lisa – Thank you! I am humbled to be a role model in that sense, although not sure I am qualified to be one – I still feel uncomfortable when I press publish!!

    Yes, I totally agree that in the metaphysical area, some things are not going to resonate with us – for a good reason. Doesn’t mean it’s not right for another person. For example, I don’t agree with all the teachings of ‘the Secret’, but at the time that it came out, I LOVED that film. Now I can see some flaws in it. But it all depends on where we’re at and our values are.

    I look forward to reading more from you on the topic of ‘what we ask for’ (as souls) 🙂

    Love, Anna

    Kate – you’re so welcome!

  24. Avatar

    Oh, Anna! Big hug! I myself was wondering last night… why did my life go down this path? Why did I leave my job for the uncertain, only to struggle and feel isolated and disempowered much of the time?

    Only I know that months or years down the road, I’ll look back and think, gee, it wasn’t necessary to struggle, the solution would have been simple. But that’s because I will have learned and grown, and going through this process is what teaches me.

    We’re in this group-think in the new age and self-help community that struggle and hard times are bad, and that it’s our job to transcend that suffering and create massive abundance. But perhaps life just has times that will suck, and it’s not up to us to completely avoid that. We forget that it’s tough times that help us grow, and those tough times can last a long time, not just a day, weak, month or even a year!

  25. Avatar

    Great article. In the middle of reading it, I was called downstairs to eat, watched the final episode of Lost and one of the bonus materials which featured the quote, “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Oh how I love coincidences!

    The quote is by Joseph Campbell, I had never heard of him before but there are tons of amazing and insightful quotes online. I don’t know why but this one made me cry, “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”

  26. Avatar

    Hi Anna,

    Thanks for sharing your story. It was not an overshare! Your honesty is very refreshing. This blog resonates deeply with me.

    I grew up with a father who was manic depressive and alcoholic. We did not have an easy family life in any way. I spent a lot of time longing for a different family.

    In hindsight, it is obvious to me that the family I got was the family I needed. Because of my father, I delved into psychology, sociology, women’s studies, ecology, metaphysics, astrology, and finally energy healing. I had to understand what went wrong in our family!!

    Who would I be without that urgent desire to understand and heal that propelled me through the wreck of my childhood?

    One other thing I’ve realized since growing up is that growing up in a dysfunctional family encouraged me to develop my own thinking separate from my “tribe.” I wonder if this wasn’t a factor for you too…you too were alienated from your own tribe. I think it is Wayne Dyer who talks about how every tribe has their own “givens” things that they accept as true. A world view, an agreed upon set of limitations.

    When you are excluded from the traditional life of the tribe, you get an opportunity to question all of those “givens” for yourself.

    I also love the computer game analagy, Seramadis, that is brilliant.

    Suzanne

  27. Avatar

    This article describes what I’ve learned over many years. We get what we truly need when we need it. and not necessarily what we want. And getting what we want may not be the best thing to happen either so it’s better to accept what getting what we need and enjoying those little things that come to us.

What would you like to learn?

JOIN OVER 4,000 HAPPY GRADUATES AND AWAKEN YOUR HEART, SOUL AND MIND.

The Intuitive Awakening Program

The Intuitive Awakening Program

‘Zero to intuitive’ in 13 weeks

In my most popular course, you’ll get a step-by-step comprehensive guide to awakening your intuitive abilities. It is complete with udio files, meditations, techniques and inside knowledge from a professional intuitive.

The Akashic Record Reading Program

The Akashic Record Reading Program

LEARN TO GIVE PROFESSIONAL READINGS

Learn how to access the Akashic Records to give professional, accurate, content-rich readings on soul purpose, past lives, life lessons, soul gifts and origins.

CHAKRA MEDITATION KIT

CHAKRA MEDITATION KIT

CLEAR ENERGY BLOCKS, RESTORE BALANCE

Read, heal, open, clear out and rebalance your chakra system. Fast–track your intuitive development using this do–it–yourself guided meditation.

The Intuitive Reading Program

The Intuitive Reading Program

FOR AKASHIC RECORD READING GRADS

Learn how to do the following readings for your client: Spirit Guide and Guardian Angel Profile Readings, Career Readings, Decision-Making Readings, Relationship Readings and General Intuitive Readings.

THE CORD CUTTING PRACTITIONER TRAINING

THE EMPATH'S TOOLKIT

A GUIDE TO RECOVERY FOR THE OVERWHELMED EMPATH

Learn how to come back into balance with your gifts & thrive in a world that is not set up for empaths.

ENERGY CLEARING FOR SPACES

ENERGY CLEARING FOR SPACES

CREATE A HAPPIER ENERGY IN YOUR HOME

Learn about the most common negative energies which affect our spaces, how to diagnose and clear energetic issues in your home and how to protect your home from negative energies in the future.

Explore ALL COURSES >

Want to receive my updates to your inbox?

Join over 10,000 people who never miss an update, new course or intuitive tip!

error: Content is protected

Pin It on Pinterest