Early Spiritual Experiences
I have written this account of my intuitive journey because I am often asked the question ‘Were you always intuitive?’
It begins at age six really, because I cannot remember any specific psychic/intuitive experiences before the age of six.
I know I was always very sensitive and I would say my strongest intuitive gifts growing up were empathy and precognition (knowing when something was going to happen). I also had a strong bond (a telepathic or intuitive one) with my little brother, who did not talk until he was nearly four. That was partly because I was able to speak for him and communicate to my parents what he wanted. This is us around that age.
My sensitivity was suppressed not long after because of a bad experience seeing a ghost in the house I grew up in.
I saw a woman standing in the corner of my bedroom at night. She was dressed in a style that was of the turn of the century and I still remember exactly what her silhouette looked like.
I am fairly certain she was an earthbound spirit (a soul who has died but not crossed over) although at the time I didn’t know who she was (I grew up in a house that was built around the end of the nineteenth century). I just knew she wasn’t a real person.
That experience put a fear of ghosts and ghouls into me – a fear that I didn’t get over until my early twenties. That night, I just put the covers over my head, absolutely petrified, hoping that she would leave. I remember my heart beating in my chest so hard. I told my mother about this encounter in the morning. My mother was a very pragmatic, scientifically-oriented person. I remember hearing my parents talking about my experience worriedly. From that moment on, I realized that my parents did not like my seeing things and it worried them. My parents had no experience or knowledge of the spirit world and I felt like there was something wrong with me for having seen what I had. I think I had concluded that I wasn’t “meant” to be seeing anything that they couldn’t see.
Later on, my intuitive gift made appearances here and there, but it was not consistent. When I was around ten years old, I remember going on a week-long geography field trip to Wales. While there, it seemed I had a gift for prediction, as I was able to predict the meals that we were going to have before they served them. I was also able to predict the lottery numbers that week, although of course we were only about ten years old so sadly nobody went out to buy a lottery ticket!
Studying the Tarot
A few years later, I became fascinated with the Tarot. I bought myself a pack of Tarot cards, much to my family’s disapproval as they associated the Tarot with the occult. I used to take my tarot cards to school and did readings for the students and teachers. I also used to play a game where I was able to predict which tarot card I was about to pull out of the pack, even if I reshuffled the pack, I would always know which one I was going to pull out. It freaked out my friends somewhat. I was told by my family that the Tarot was dangerous, and that it invited contact with negative spirits. In my experience, consulting the Tarot was interesting, comforting even and I sensed that something or someone benevolent was working with me to give me the relevant information.
Through this process of studying the Tarot, I became very familiar with the symbols of the Tarot and in retrospect that was the beginning of my intuitive training.
Yearning for Spiritual Connection
It was around the age of eleven that I began going to Church on my own. I had always been drawn to anything spiritual and Church was the closest I thought I could get to the supernatural. I loved the silence of the church on Sunday evenings and the poetry of the Bible. I loved talking to God and Jesus. My maternal Grandmother was a strong influence on me at this time as she was quite a religious person but she also had an affinity with Native American spirituality and she helped nurture a connection to the Divine.
Another reason why I enjoyed spending time with my grandmother was because she was a graphologist (someone who analyzes handwriting to deduce personality traits). When I visited her house, I would spend hours reading her graphology books, decoding handwriting. By examining and retracing people’s handwriting, I was able to step inside of the experience of the person who wrote it and get a feel for who they were.
One of the first times I read for people I didn’t know was during a school fair at around the age of fourteen, when I analyzed the handwriting (and read the palms of ) the teachers and students. It was a fun exercise for me and they were all blown away by the accuracy of what they thought would just be a party trick or a cold reading. I never imagined I’d be doing that kind of work ten years later!