How I Overcame my Fear of Spirits & Discovered my Life Purpose
In the mean time, I had done my final exams, passed them and this is me at my graduation. I was so glad it was over, BUT I had worked for three hard years and spent a lot of money on a degree I hadn’t even enjoyed.
Now I was faced with finding a job, using skills I didn’t even want to use. I longed for my carefree life in Spain. But I had to face reality. I had bills to pay and some sort of career to make. My job hunt was a frustrating one. It’s hard to find a job when you’re not living your purpose and there is no passion or enthusiasm shining through.
In the end, after some searching, I fell into the field of teaching and taught French at a University in France. But my real enthusiasm, interests and passion still lay elsewhere – in the Spirit world. At weekends I worked on opening up my intuitive abilities and contacting my Spirit Guides.
Life was pushing me further and further towards spirituality, healing and intuitive work.
It was while I was living in Dijon, France that I found the website of a personal development blogger who taught a message of finding your purpose and having a meaningful life doing what you love. I used to spend hours devouring the free articles on his website and became a huge fan of his work at that time. This person wrote a great deal about making your life congruent with the person you were on the inside. That was an important message for me because I realized that for most of my life, I had been hiding my true self. My outer self was an academically gifted student who was a major people-pleaser as I suppressed any negative emotions to keep other people happy.
My inner self was a bit of a witch, and more spirited than the person I was presenting to the outside world. I was deeply frustrated and discouraged at that time. I knew I really wanted to do work that helps other people but after four years of studying and £17,000 of student debt, it seemed that the best way the world thought I could help others was through teaching them English, which frustrated me. I am sure that people do a great job teaching others English but I was longing for something more spiritual, where I could do healing and remind people of their connection to spirit. I did not see how I would ever find something that I loved to do.
At that time, I was dying to open up my intuitive abilities once again, and I felt that it was part of my path to use them in my work, but I just didn’t dare. I was afraid that if I opened up my third eye once again, I would begin seeing disembodied spirits like the woman I saw when I was six or seven years old.
Little by little I learned how to open up my chakras, and I told my Guides that I was open to developing my intuitive abilities, but that they were not allowed to frighten me. I remember walking around in a lot of fear in my own apartment in France that year because I expected to see a spirit jump out at me. That has never happened since that time when I was seven years old and in my experience talking to other professional intuitives, it rarely happens, so my fear was unfounded.