Is It Time to Come Out of the Spiritual Closet? • Anna Sayce

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Is It Time to Come Out of the Spiritual Closet?

I recently received a question from one of my Akashic Record reading Program students.

“Sarah” is currently learning to give readings professionally and she says:

“I am worried about coming out of the spiritual closet. Soon I will be ready to actually go out and give readings professionally…I’m already feeling a little unsure about how to navigate that.

What do you suggest in terms of having the confidence and courage to go out and be seen doing this work in the world?”

I wanted to answer this question here on the blog because I know I have quite a few readers who are intuitives in training who may also be concerned with this.

OK, so I want to start by telling you about a particularly unpleasant experience around coming out of the spiritual closet, that really stuck in my memory (yes – let’s just jump in at the deep end 🙂 )

About 11 years ago, I went on holiday to the South of France with some Uni friends. We were eating in a restaurant and I went to the loo. As I came back up the stairs, I heard my friends badmouthing me and talking/laughing about what a idiot I was for believing in spirit guides and chakras.

It was a pretty mortifying moment walking in on a conversation I was not supposed to hear. But it also made me realise the following:

People who judge you because of your spiritual or religious beliefs do not deserve to be in your life.

On the other hand, people who are decent and kind will respect you and your beliefs. If they don’t share your beliefs, they will have a ‘live and let live’ attitude and they certainly won’t badmouth you behind your back.

Obviously, you want people around you who fall into the second group.

And the great thing about being ‘out there’ in the world doing spiritual work is that those people who are intolerant (like militant atheists or fundamentalist christians) will often remove themselves from your world when they realise what you do. This is a positive thing because you do not want such judgmental or intolerant people in your life.

It is also clear that your experience coming out of the spiritual closet will depend on who you have around you.

The experience I mentioned above was totally a product of the setting I was in a decade ago.

I went to one of the top universities in the UK and I didn’t enjoy the company of some of the people I met there. This was partly because I encountered quite a bit of intellectual arrogance – people who felt that through science or Christianity, they knew everything they needed to know about life and the Universe. It was quite a traditional and conservative place to go to school.

Most of the people I met during that time went on to pursue careers in fields like banking, politics, the corporate world in general and even the Church.

(It is no wonder I was a fish out of water. As a a non-conformist spiritual person, I just did not fit in there!)

My experiences after I graduated have been quite different

I am ‘out’ and proud as someone who is a spiritual person and has a spiritual website.

It is on my house sitting profile (I am a full-time house sitter.)

It is on my online dating profile.

I tell strangers that I meet during conversations when I am asked what I do.

And as a result, I have attracted and met awesome people, including like-minded, spiritual people. I have met intellectually curious and open people. I have met spiritual and non-spiritual business people who think it is very cool I make a living from this website.

I also have met people who have no interest or belief in spiritual stuff, and with whom I do not really share that part of my life.

The thing all of these people have in common is that they are nice people who respect other peoples’ spiritual or religious beliefs.

I am sure there will be people I never hear from who don’t agree with what I do, but those people don’t show up in my world and haven’t for years.

I recently did an interview with the psychic-medium Amanda Linette Meder and it sounds like she has had similar experiences, too. I asked her:

When you first started this work, what was your biggest fear and what helped you overcome that fear?

She said:

“When I first started, I was 28.

My biggest fear was that I wouldn’t be able to find a boyfriend.

Dating was hard enough as it is, so I gathered that me coming out as a medium would make things more challenging –  more awkward first dates and making it harder for me to find a soulmate.

But thankfully – I was completely wrong.

Being yourself actually makes it easier for you to find your soulmate, as people can see the real you, sooner. So it actually saves way more time on the dating scene and I’ve found it brings more authentic connections with people.

Truth be told, I’d found dating to be easier out as a psychic-medium more than I ever had before.”

Well said!

What About Family Members?

Something I haven’t mentioned is that I have also lost many family members through the process of becoming more authentic as a person and this definitely had something to do with coming out of the spiritual closet fully.

I am one of five children but I have been estranged from my entire family of origin for a long time (the only people I am in contact with are my brother’s ex-partner and her children – my two nieces).

But this is not a bad thing and it did not happen JUST because of my beliefs or work.

I grew up in a psychologically and physically abusive family and it became clear that those people who were abusive were not going to change, so I removed them from my life. Not just because they said horrid things about my work or my beliefs but because some of them were abusive in general. The comments about my work were just one small symptom of the overall pattern that had been there for my whole life.

So if you have toxic people in your life like I did, and you come out as a spiritual person or worker, things may suddenly become a lot more challenging because you are being authentic and such people don’t respond well to that, and either those relationships will become healthier and the other person will learn to become more tolerant, or those relationships may die as a result.

What about being a little bit out of the closet?

Some of my students choose an alias (i.e. a different name) to do readings via the internet, because they want to keep their work and beliefs private from their boss, co-workers, acquaintances or whoever. There is nothing wrong with this. It is up to you to decide what is right for you.

I also considered going down this route when I had a brief stint teaching languages part-time about 7 years ago. At this time, I actually legally changed my name from the name I was born with to Anna Sayce (Sayce is my grandmother’s maiden name) to give me an alias.

But in the end, I decided to only use the name Anna Sayce. Letting go of the name I was born with felt like a powerful symbol of letting go of the people who would have preferred me to be someone other than who I was.

Hopefully this has been helpful for someone out there. Please leave any comments below.

 

24 Comments

  1. Just loving your honesty, please keep up your great work.

  2. Thank you for sharing your insights Anna! This was a really helpful article and I resonate with so much of what you said.

  3. I wonder if, at age 68, i would benefit by changing my name as I have not seen or spoken to my ex for over 40 years. I seem to be confused as to where to go at this point in my life and it seems like some blocks are there and I want to prosper and meet people who are worthwhile and educated.

  4. This article couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I have been struggling with this very subject. Ask…and it shall appear. Thank you, Anna!

  5. Hi, My name is Brenda, I am totally a believer in God, I was raised a Catholic, but I also believe in special gifts, when I was younger I used to have dreams that I couldn’t remember until I was in the situation and then it came flooding back, these dreams saved my life, I don’t have them anymore, but now if my mind is clear I get an all over body feeling someone I know will die. I was one day off from predicting my Stepfather death that I had felt 2 weeks prior. I carried a lot of guilt because I didn’t say anything, I knew as soon as I walked into my mother’s hospital room she would die within 2 hours, my second ex husbands uncle died exactly on the day I predicted 2 weeks before hand, my Ex best friends mother was in the hospital and as soon as I walked in the room I felt it and I pulled her out of the room and took her to the chapel and explained to her her mother was going to pass, she died 2 days later. I lost my friend because of that, she said I was crazy, I’m not sure if this is a curse or a gift. I know I have some kind of sixth sense but I’m not sure how to make it stronger or if I should.

  6. Anna – I have learned having six wonderful children that life is what you make it and you take the positive and constructive vibes around you and run with that energy you deserve and the spiritual enlightenment will fill your life as deserved thank you for your inspiration, much appreciated. Catherine giugno

  7. i’m 1 of 5 also, i am a young indigo and i find my family situation messy. my spirituality is not understood. i really value your insight Anna x

  8. Thanks for sharing your story Anna. You always inspire me with your honesty and courage.

  9. I have recently put myself “out there” with friends who are NOT like-minded. They are Christians and I could tell they were looking at me like I was a lost sheep…with pity.
    I was letting them see my authentic self and they didn’t like it…..but I was okay with it. If you would have asked me a couple of years ago how I felt about it I would have been devastated. I think when you’re being your authentic self everything just kind of falls into place.
    My husband is probably the most dedicated Catholic I know and our boys go to a Catholic school. I was starting to resent going to church every week to please my husband. We even wound up at marriage counseling. I felt like a trapped hypocrite.

    I manifested the perfect councelor who was amazing at translating my talk about Spirit, energy and the Universe into terms my husband could understand like the Holy Spirit, God and Jesus. Interestingly enough after I stopped going to church one of my friend’s sons was in a terrible dirt bike accident and was in a coma. I called a healer I know and we both worked the energy in the room he was in and cleared all negativity and put shields around him and after that he seemed to turn a corner. After 52 days in the hospital he was released with pretty much all of his faculties. He made the choice to return but I felt my abilities start to flourish. After I left the hospital I met my husband and sons at our beach house. I was very happy to go to church that day and the most amazing thing happened. I saw light coming out of the crucifix and beaming into every person who was there. I couldn’t believe my eyes. After the attendees received Communion the white light was swirling all through them. I was blown away! I have had some truly profound experiences in Church ever since that day. ( I did have some before).
    Long story short (sorry) I received some wonderful gifts spiritually at church after I had the bravery to bust out of the Catholic mold and be my genuine self.
    I still go to church and I was able to deliver a message to a dear friend this week after church that her mother had given me in church. It was amazing. I FELT AMAZING and shared my gift openly with her.
    So be brave. You have to put your hook in the water to catch a fish. 💜💜💜

  10. Bravo, Anna! I always appreciate the benefit of your personal insights and experiences!

  11. Anna. Very interesting blog. I can understand makes perfect sense. Almost makes me want to leave my home town I live in now. lol was some what better in a city.

  12. Thank you Anna for your words!
    @Brenda
    and
    @Lori
    Thank you for sharing your experience from a place of mystical christianity which can easily become disregarded or disrespected when we try to decouple spirit-uality from christianity completely. I am deeply spiritual and intuitive but I have also come from a deep christian experience. I have never felt they were in opposition in spirit, but perhaps less so in practice when we, for any reason, seek the comfort of distance from acknowledging and expressing common ground.
    *
    To me, being authentic is to feel ever more free to express ALL overlaps of our passions and understanding and the meaninful pauses from the angles we get to experience this life – or how else is our unique perspective formed?
    *
    May we all feel deeply unitied and reassured in love in one spirit!

  13. I think I’ve been a spiritual person all my life but didn’t know what the name of it was. I recently told very close friends that I consider myself a spiritual person and that I believe in the afterlife and that I will one day see my loved ones who have passed away. I think they were curious but not necessarily accepting yet they seemed to respect my definition of myself. I have taken classes to become a energy healer. I don’t talk about that with anyone except people in my meditation group. My family think I’m a harmless kind of crazy, I think so I don’t discuss it with them anymore. They are not receptive. I know I am not alone and I thank you for your post. Alanna

  14. Hi Anna. I always read your blog posts with interest as I identify with a lot of what you say. I chose at an early age to be out as a mystic. As a theologically trained (Christian interfaithful and earth based being) this has not been easy. Still there are many progressive women and LGBT folk who have awakened to their psychic gifts. The lineage of psychic people in the church is named in both conservative and liberal circles under different languages of prayer and discernment.

    I too get wounded by frightened people who lash out at my direct mystic connection. I consider this part of the developmental initiation of spiritual development these days. Reading the I Ching recently I found a line about religion being a mere husk holding chaos. I am very careful about communities and people with whom I connect. I even renounced my ordination in order to dignify my deepest call to serve the Divine. And I continue to do “pew work” to hold and honor the power of communal/ tribal energy in love and change.

    All this being said when you use the word Christian you are also using it about me. It feels kind of like your friends talking about you at the table- dismissive and lacking complexity. I am positive you don’t intend that, thank you for your brilliant and honest and grounded path and many blessings on your trip to see loved ones.

  15. KUDOS Sister…your honesty & courage and willingness to be authentic are highly appreciated by this spiritual non-conformist Gal….;)….thank you for sharing this great insight and for letting the rest of us know that it’s perfectly OK to let go of toxic people and to become free to be our hip, cool & authentic selves!!!….You are an inspiration and a great example to follow….”keep on, keepin’ on” Girl!!..<3

  16. Hi Anna

    A timely post and one that I feel can be a profound and delicate process, as many can feel alone with their own, unique spiritual beliefs, development and resonance and that, this is okay. We want and desire to be authentic, which can take time, more so when we are learning to be with our own spiritual self. We are learning to be with new sensitivities, new ideas and other worldly perspectives, it can at times, overwhelm, while learning to be out in the world, around our friends and family who may not understand. I love my family but know and have experienced they would not be open to my spiritual beliefs, and I know for sure they would not really approve. I am learning to respect this, that each person has their own path, just like I have. I have lost friends, not because I came out as such but because I was changing, change in health, sensitivity and learning to say no more instead of people pleasing. I have put immense pressure on myself to be fully authentic, yet my inner self was not ready and that is okay too, and I asked myself to take this one step, day at a time, whether we speak out loud or keep to our self, there is no right or wrong way. Thanks Anna

  17. Hi Anna

    I hope my comment was okay and expressing where I am in learning to feel and be authentic spiritually. Thanks.

  18. Thankyou to all who have spoken of their Christian experience. I’m a Christian. I’m also an explorer of spirituality and practice reiki. I see no conflict between these things… And I too feel hurt by the perception that Christian people are judgmental or narrow minded in their beliefs. Not all of us!

    Please recognise there are as many different types of Christian as there are people. Of course there will be those who sit in judgment on how some choose to live or love, often using the Bible to justify themselves. But we’re not all the same. I believe Jesus and his life and approach to others and the Divine is the true example to follow. The rest is human interpretation often based on Paul’s writings and Paul was a man of his place and time.

    I believe in One God, one Divine Source. Father, son and holy spirit or source, Divine master, spirit.. Call it what you wish.. I’m not sure it really matters. So often I feel that language inhibits understanding. Often the differences lie in interpretation of words and not the reality of the Divine.

    Blessing to all, no matter how you choose to describe your spiritual journey.

    True spirituality will not judge, condemn or ridicule but will accept in love the differences of others and value them as a valid expression of the multi faceted creator and susta

  19. Wow, Anna, I am amazed every time about how your blog answers my questions in just the right moment! Thank you so so much for sharing these insights with us, and also for all the lovely work you do. It is highly appreciated!

  20. I found this article really interesting as in my early 40s I have finally plunged into living life true to my own spirituality. I was fearful of religion for 20+ years after time spent with an extreme group of evangelical Christians at Uni and an encounter with an angel I was told was the devil (!) I am now connecting with God, the angels and Jesus, learning to heal and developing my psychic/intuitive skills and coming ‘out’ to family, friends and work colleagues is slowly but surely happening but does bring up its challenges similar to coming out as gay 20 years ago! Thanks for your no nonsense advice and sharing

  21. Thank you Anna for all your free advices and sharing your experience. It has been quite interesting for me to read as well as your newsletter seems to be.

    Best wishes from Spain!

  22. Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment and share their thoughts and experiences here. Loved reading them. xo

    Cynthia & Jenny – oh no..I’m sorry you both had that sense from something I wrote. Definitely only referring to militant/fundamentalist Christians who feel a need to “save” others. Hoping that will be clear to anyone else reading who identifies as Christian! xo

  23. An extremely interesting article and comments, thank you Anna.

    Nowadays I have to be totally “out of the closet” as I am a published author of spiritual books, so I have no option for ‘secrecy’.

    However, I had never kept my spirituality ‘secret’ before, I just didn’t discuss it with work colleagues etc, (although it was often said to me that it was uncanny how I knew one or two things were about to happen…)

    I don’t mind being challenged about my beliefs, because it presents an opportunity to help others on their own spiritual pathway. To gently sow the seed of truth. (and gently and carefully it has to be, for many people cherish their ability to put their heads in the sand, or are simply too busy with everyday life).

    Although a person may dismiss mediumship, the after-life and the world of spirit out of hand, I have found that, without exception, they have no knowledge or experience of things spiritual.

    For example, they will dismiss mediumship as fraud, and yet when asked how many mediums they have personally seen, the answer is none. I am then able to say that over 30 years I have witnessed around 200 mediums delivering about 3000 separate instances of communication, much of which was verifiable, and I can also refer to my scientific training, and then perhaps name the famous scientists who were spiritualists. This generally wins the day in terms of debate as far as I’m concerned, but of course most will still be in denial, yet it must surely make them think.

    Sometimes I might say “the only thing we can be sure of is that we’re all going to die. Therefore, if people are saying that there is a next world, what it is like, and that you can even speak directly to the so called ‘dead’, then, is it not irrational to ignore these claims and never investigate them for yourself?”

    So I would say, yes “do come out of the closet”, do not be afraid of what others might say, you are leading by example, and those people who believe you to be delusional and irrational will one day thank their lucky stars that you showed them a glimpse of a different way, the way of truth, which eventually they will surely follow.

  24. Hi, Anna! Such a great interesting article again!
    I don’t know if I even fit this category “going out of the closet” as I haven’t got any such knowledge or experiences that I could share with others. But I still feel like in a closet. I like drawing and other things and also a bit of spirituality but I don’t know how to combine that and what will come out of it. I feel some bomb ticking inside, but have no idea what it is and what will it look like after it explodes.
    I also keep doubting myself and other people (even famous books) on spirituality and “auras” and “chakras” etc, because they do contradict each other. I feel like finding some “truth” first, but I’ve met many elder than me people who are now in 60’s and are still looking for it…
    Anyways, your blog helps me a lot! Thanks!


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